November 21, 2014

10 Hours of walking in NYC as a woman in Hijab: modesty, victim blaming and street harassment


By now, everyone has seen the video of a woman walking around New York for 10 hours and getting harassed over a hundred times. Did you also know there has been a response in the form of a video of a woman with a hijab in New York? The first 5 hours she is shown walking without hijab, experiencing harassment similar to the original video. However for the next 5 hours, when she does wear the hijab and jilbab, she is miraculously not subjected to harassment at all. The video says “you be the judge” implying that it is obvious to see that the only way to be free from harassment is covering yourself up. Once again, women are shamed and blamed – by both men and women - for bringing harassment upon themselves, merely by what they are or are not wearing. Once again people fail to acknowledge the real issue that is street harassment: the ingrained idea of entitlement and power over women and the fact that harassment is so normalized in both Western and Middle Eastern culture.

Victim blaming happens so often when addressing sexual crimes and harassment, and even more in the cultural and social context of Islamic societies where women are seen as sexual creatures who are to blame for inciting men’s sexual urges. The idea of modesty and the concept of honour and shame regarding women’s bodies as a means of protecting women does nothing to solve the problem, rather it reinforces rape culture by always putting the blame on them.

The underlying meaning of this ‘modesty’ is that “good” women are those who cover up and belong to a man, “bad” women don’t cover up which implies that they are available to all men. In other words, respect for women depends mostly on their way of dressing as expected and imposed by men. Victim blaming and slut-shaming are very close related when talking about harassment. The notion of the male gaze becomes crucial here, and I very much agree with what the (anonymous) blogger behind A Sober Second Look says about this:

“What we didn’t notice was that regardless of whether we were measuring ourselves against a more or a less restrictive check-list determining “proper hijab,” we were nonetheless forever measuring ourselves in terms of an imagined male gaze, which we had internalized. We told ourselves that this had nothing to do with the male gaze, because what we were concerned with ultimately was obeying God. But coincidentally enough, the gaze that those check-lists had in mind was the male gaze. According to those check-lists, a woman has to always be aware if her clothing is “too” tight, “too” bright, “too” short, “too” fashionable, “too” eye-catching, “too” insufficiently Muslim… mainly, in the judgment of men—the generations of male scholars who had debated and determined these matters, and the male leaders of our community—and to a lesser extent, of a censorious and judgmental community generally.”
Going back to the message of the hijab video, “you be the judge” which implies that the hijab functions as a kind of invisibility cloak that magically protects against harassment and the male gaze. Problem solved then? Not really. How do you explain that 99.3% of Egyptian women experience harassment, when the majority of them wears the hijab?

The Qur’an and Hadith suggest that both women and men dress modestly in order not to incite sexual urges (an inherent natural aspect of human beings, both men and women). Maybe men who are shaming women for not wearing the hijab and saying this is required by the Qur’an haven’t read the Qur’an properly, as in the same chapter it is recommended that men lower their gaze. Other chapters in the Qur’an encourage men to respect women and treat them kindly. So why are we not addressing this blatant violation of Islamic doctrine? When are we going to focus on changing men’s behaviour and attitude instead of simply blaming women’s appearance and modesty?

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De video van de vrouw die 10 uur in New York rondloopt en daarbij meer dan 100 keer wordt nageroepen, lastiggevallen en zelfs gevolgd is ondertussen wijdverspreid, net als de vele parodieën die erop volgden. Een van deze parodieën was de video met als titel ’10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman in Hijab’. De video toont een vrouw die gekleed in een jeans en t-shirt gedurende 5 uur door New York loopt en hierbij op gelijkaardige manier wordt lastiggevallen al in de originele video. De volgende 5 uur draagt ze een hijab en een jilbab en wordt ze op magische wijze helemaal niet lastiggevallen, zelfs volledig genegeerd. De video voegt er nog de comment “you be the judge” aan toe, waarmee de makers impliceren dat deze video duidelijk maakt dat vrouwen slechts zichzelf moeten bedekken en hierbij verlost zouden zijn van intimidatie en opmerkingen. Dit is een van de vele manieren waarop de schuld van harassment bij de vrouw en haar (on)gepaste kledij wordt gelegd. Het echte probleem wordt hierbij over het hoofd gezien, nl. het zelfverkondigde recht en gezag van mannen over vrouwen en het feit dat street harassment zodanig genormaliseerd en geaccepteerd is, in zowel de Westerse als niet-Westerse maatschappij.

Victim blaming – waarbij de schuld aan het slachtoffer gegeven wordt – gebeurt te vaak wanneer het gaat over onderwerpen als intimidatie, verkrachting en street harassment, en in grote mate in islamitische samenlevingen of gemeenschappen. Vrouwen worden hierbij beschouwd als seksuele wezens die volledig de schuld dragen voor het opwekken van seksuele drang en lust bij mannen. Het achterliggende idee van ‘modesty’ – bescheidenheid of zedelijkheid – en ‘eer en schaamte’ dat altijd geassocieert wordt met het lichaam van de vrouw wordt hier gezien als een manier om vrouwen te beschermen. Dit heeft echter het tegenovergesteld effect, aangezien het ‘rape culture’ in de hand werkt door telkens de fout bij de vrouw te leggen.

De werkelijke betekenis van deze ‘modesty’ is dat vrouwen die zich bedekken “goede” vrouwen zijn die aan een man toebehoren, terwijl onbedekte of minder bedekte vrouwen te kennen zouden geven dat ze beschikbaar zijn voor eender welke man en hierdoor als “slechte” vrouwen – of zelfs slechte muslima’s - worden bestempeld. Met andere woorden, het respect dat vrouwen kunnen verkrijgen hangt grotendeels af van hun manier van kleden, dat hun opgelegd wordt door mannen. Verschillende moslima bloggers hebben hun ongenoegen geuit over de betekenis van de hoofddoek in de hedendaagse samenleving, en de druk van de maatschappij en van mannen in het bijzonder. De manier waarop vrouwen onderworpen worden aan een checklist van criteria – niet te kort, te strak, te fel, te modieus of “moslim” genoeg – waardoor ze de zogenaamde ‘male gaze’ zouden kunnen vermijden, verdringt de ware betekenis van de hoofddoek: gehoorzaamheid aan God.

Om terug te keren naar de boodschap die de hijab video wil overbrengen, “you be the judge”: hieruit zou men dus moeten opmaken dat de hijab als een soort onzichtbaarheidsmantel werkt. Ladies, de oplossing is eenvoudig: draag de hijab en je bent van het ene moment op het ander beschermd tegen harassment, opmerkingen en indringende blikken. Al goed en wel, maar leg mij dan eens uit hoe het kan dat 99.3%  van de vrouwen in Egypte verklaart dat ze harassment ondervindt of al ondervonden heeft, terwijl de overgrote meerderheid van deze vrouwen de hijab draagt? Of hoe het mogelijk is dat in landen waar vrouwen bijna volledig bedekt rond lopen, verkrachtingen nog steeds regelmatig voorkomen?


In de Koran en de Hadith wordt aangeraden dat zowel mannen als vrouwen zedelijk of bedekt gekleed moeten gaan, om geen seksuele verlangens – iets dat zowel mannen als vrouwen van nature bezitten – op te wekken. Dezelfde mannen die vrouwen bekritiseren omdat ze beweren dat ze niet gekleed gaan volgens de religieuze voorschriften moeten misschien de Koran nog eens opnieuw doorlezen. Ietsje verder in het hoofdstuk over de kledingvoorschriften voor vrouwen staat gelijkaardig advies voor mannen, met als toevoeging dat mannen “de ogen moeten neerslaan.” Andere Koranverzen raden mannen aan vrouwen met respect en vriendelijkheid te behandelen. Waarom wordt dit advies nooit zo streng nageleefd? Kunnen we mannen dan niet beschuldigen van het niet naleven van de voorschriften? Kortom, in plaats van telkens de schuld te geven aan vrouwen, hun kledij en (gebrek aan) zedelijkheid, wordt het niet eens tijd dat we onze aandacht richten op hoe we het gedrag en de ingesteldheid van mannen kunnen veranderen?

October 7, 2014

So long?

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Love you all / I am the cheesiest person ever
You might have noticed I haven't been blogging that much lately. To be honest I haven't been feeling inspired at all, although the main reason is that I simply don't have the time. Moving to London to pursue my masters degree has been a  new and very exciting chapter in my life, and I'm still trying to balance university with social life (we all know the struggle) so blogging really isn't one of my priorities. In fact, I don't think it will be this year, as I feel like I really have to focus on my degree - I'm enjoying every minute (ha. ha. I know you're reading this, mom &  dad) of it but given the workload and the expectations that I have set for myself, I just can't find the time and energy for blogging anymore. So much respect for people who study/work fulltime and manage to keep up their blog regularly - I barely have time to sleep! (no really, I fell asleep trying to finish the last article of my required reading list for today's lecture last night. Fun times) 

Blogging has always been a hobby for me, but I feel that once it becomes a drag, you have to re-evaluate the reasons behind it. When you can't offer high-quality blog posts, why blog at all? I don't feel like spending the little spare time I have on taking outfit photos, editing them and posting them, hoping at least a few people will notice and appreciate it. Recently I've talked about how blogging has become a business driven by consumerism and superficiality. I have moved on from talking about what I'm wearing and what I want to buy to thinking about more profound subjects such as ethical fashion, feminism, street harassment and muslim fashion. While I still thoroughly enjoy taking inspiration from fashionable people - online and on the street - and I most certainly love the thrill of finding that one perfect piece of clothing, I don't have the desire to talk about it anymore. And sometimes you just want to get dressed for the day, you know? And not having to think about every possible combination or getting that perfect instagram shot. (I will still give it a try once in a while though, don't worry)

This doesn't necessarily mean I want to stop blogging altogether, because I've met some great people through blogging (you know who you are!) and I like having a creative outlet - just not as regularly as I used to do (did I ever? Ahem) So I hope you will stick around, or you can always follow me on twitter or instagram if you want to keep up to date with what keeps me busy! (mainly school though. I apologize in advance)

Love,
Siel xxx


PS: I suggest you check out some of my favourite bloggers - women with a great sense of style who are not afraid to speak their mind! 
Annebeth (Styling Dutchman), Renée (Blanco), Laura (Laura Pauline K), Hannelore (Au pays des Merveilles), Leen (Lena Lena est là), Sabina (Insomnia), Pandora (Pandora Sykes), Elien (Dogs and Dresses), Nel (Een Uffra met een Pitslichteke) & Man Repeller (of course)

October 4, 2014

No time to shop

fall wishlist



No time to shop, but looking is allowed right?
(PS: I did find some time to add two of this list to my shopping bag... one needs a break between studying!)

September 25, 2014

About a million years late...

sneakers

... I am finally joining the sneaker party. Running around all day from home to the bus to the tube to university and back has made me realise I need a pair of comfortable (did I just say it?) shoes - the Birkenstock season is sadly almost over and it's still a bit too early for boots so bring on the Nike sneakers! Now onto the hardest part: deciding which pair to get. At the moment  I prefer the Nike Pegasus 83 over the Air Force 1, just because the latter turn my elegant size 8 (ahem) feet into true ferry boats. And although the weather has been exceptionally nice in London (I'm turning into a Londoner already, talking about the weather - and while typing this, I'm dipping a biscuit into my tea...) white sneakers might not be the best option for Fall. Thoughts? 

September 19, 2014

In the name of fashion

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Last Tuesday was almost entirely spent in the sacred and holy (what?) name of fashion. As you might have seen from my instagram, I decided to drop by Somerset House to sniff up the London Fashion Week atmosphere. Turns out, I'm not quite cut out for it. Here's why:

1. I did not consult the weather report (or rather, I did but it changed drastically by the time I'd come out of the tube...) and spent the entire day sweating in my (although light) coat. Which I couldn't take of because a) it's part of the outfit and b) hello underarm sweat circles!

2. I did not wear fancy designers or at least high street brands. No, I wanted to be "unique" and created an outfit existing almost entirely out of thrifted and vintage pieces, except for my shoes, which were from Nelly (too unknown), bag (Mango, well that's one point for me) 
and my sunglasses (ebay or somewhere on holiday, I can't even remember. Very bad points)

3. My brightest idea of all time: I wore heels the ENTIRE day. I debated on wearing flats (hello Birkenstocks) up until I arrived but decided against it because I would have to bring a bigger bag which lowers the level of street style chic. I am seriously debating never wearing anything else but sneakers and slippers for the rest of my life.

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So as I barely survived half a day of the Fashion Week circus, I have to say I have new found respect for everyone who can cope with 5 days of this madness in London, on top of New York, Paris and even Milan. Other than that, I have found the absolute fakeness of it all rather disturbing. Somerset House is buzzing with people posing, pretending to be on their phones because they're awkward and by themselves (guilty as charged) and trying to get snapped (also guilty) and photographers who will fight each other for the best "street" style pictures  (let's just lose the street element altogether, because who wears these outfits on the actual street to run errands and catch the bus? Can't we just call it Fashion Week style?) You can spot the ones who put together the most overdressed and ridiculous outfit just to get snapped by photographers in the blink of an eye. Is this really the essence of fashion? It seemed like a big theme party instead of celebrating the creativity and thought that some people put into their outfits.

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To be honest, I much preferred the exhibition that I went to see with a friend in the morning of that same day: Horst: Photographer of Style. A large collection of Horst's photographs, from the early 30s up until the 80s, most of them published in Vogue. From stunning b&w photographs where he plays light and shadow so beautifully no amount of photoshop could ever recreate (and my personal favourite part of his collection), to his famous and colourful Vogue covers. Back in the days when Vogue and fashion an sich was still a luxury reserved for the elite of society. I certainly do not want to turn back time (as I would definitely not be part of the lucky few who could afford high fashion in those days) but seeing these completely different views on fashion in one day made me wonder (Carrie Bradshaw will never leave us) about the real meaning of style. Wonderfully created editorials with luxurious dresses? Over the top outfits to be worn just once in a lifetime? Street style in the literal meaning of the word? Is the combination of all of this what has made fashion the way it is today? Let's discuss!

385 Horst-P-Horst
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(I was going to talk about the fashion show by MA students at Kingston University that I was invited to as well but this post is long enough as it is already! Maybe another post if you're interested)

September 15, 2014

I'm on a beach

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While the London Fashion week is going full craze (someone invite me to a show now please okthanksbye) I'm finally getting round posting the last bit of my holiday photos -the few days we spent in Varadero, aka paradise (when you avoid the all-inclusive resort beaches, that is). I know, I've been back for 1,5 months but I always try to keep the holiday spirit up as long as I can yo! Although I can't look back at these pictures without crying a little bit inside (beaches! piña colada! shorts!) there's so many exciting things going on in my life right now (London! Fashion! Apartment hunting!)(I'll stop now..) so I'm actually really looking forward to the next few months here. But for now, let's wallow in some summertime nostalgia and pretend I actually got a proper tan, aside from the awkard tan line across my waist. Always wear sunscreen on that little strip of skin between a crop top and high waisted shorts people - I learned it the hard way...

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September 11, 2014

London update

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Just a quick update from London - bare with me while I try to find an apartment, set up my university courses and find an outfit photographer! Patience is a virtue my friends...

September 3, 2014

Usual suspects







All black and these mules - what else did you expect?
Also: I can never keep my eyes open, ever.

I'm wearing: Asos faux leather trousers & top | Nelly mules | Mango bag

August 30, 2014

Wanted

Because everyone needs a pair of faux leather culottes in their life...
(Zara)

August 28, 2014

Mules are the world







An ode to my new favourite pair of shoes: these mules from NELLY and that I haven't stopped wearing since I got them. In the weekends, I mean: I'm not wearing heels to work (running around the office's slippery floor, driving a car and walking home every day wearing heels? I'm not THAT crazy...) This outfit represents the crazy fickle weather we've been having: one moment I'm sweating my ass off, only to put on a coat a minute later. Yes I've cracked and taken out my thrifted coat again - it's more like a long coat-y cardigan so it doesn't count as real winter gear, ok??

I'm wearing: vintage Levi's mom jeans thrifted | vintage coat & shirt | NELLY mules | MANGO bag

August 25, 2014

Trinidad & Cienfuegos



Well it's pretty late in the evening again (but really, are there actually people who make it into bed before midnight with all this INTERNETZ keeping us busy - I still have about 20 tabs open, all stuff I have to read or watch, I can't possibly be the only one...) (Also, should dedicate a post to this instead of trying to make up an introduction to a travel post) Anyway, today's post is about two of my favourite cities in Cuba: Cienfuegos & Trinidad. Much less hassle and crowd compared to Havana, and so much authenticity. Cienfuegos is known for its blue painted houses - every instagrammer's dream - and Trinidad for its coloured everything, salsa nights and loads of daiquiri's - in my case, anyway. One does not simply take on salsa with the locals without a bit of rum-infused encouragement...









Trinidad valley

Trinidad







Told ya...